When the term Gender Based Violence is mentioned, what comes to the mind of many, especially in African society, is physical abuse, most probably because that is the most visible and the most highlighted. In essence, according to the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, Gender-Based Violence (GBV), sometimes also referred to as Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV), is any harmful act of sexual, physical, psychological, mental, and emotional abuse that is perpetrated against a person’s will and that is based on socially ascribed (i.e. gender) differences between males and females.
Any form of abuse is detrimental, but the one that affects the mind (psychological, mental, and emotional) is deadlier. Deadlier because the effects are not as obvious or as evident as those from physical abuse, and it kills slowly. When your spouse, for instance, hits you, there will be pain, injury, and most probably a scar later on. With this kind of abuse, you will be alert and might make a decision to save your life. With psychological, mental, and emotional abuse, one rarely notices they are being abused. Because the effects are subtle, one might stay in that abusive environment longer than they should because the abuse eventually becomes their reality. It is like they are in a daze and have no way out.
A few days ago, a video of a woman taking poison before her husband surfaced on social media a few months after she was buried. In the video, the Kenyan woman is heard calling her children and telling them that she is dying. The kids who happen to be in their room at this particular time don’t even realize that their mum is talking about the actual death that is about to happen. The woman then asks the husband to tell the kids that she loves them and will miss them. In the meantime, the husband is recording the whole scene and seems unbothered even when the wife starts foaming in the mouth. The woman falls on the floor next to her husband and groans in pain. The husband calls out to the nanny to bring milk, and she asks her to force the wife to drink. Their kid also joins the scene and witnesses the whole ordeal. The man is focused on recording.
Crucial questions to ask; why was he unmoved by his wife’s action? Why was he so focused on recording the video? Could it be that they had both subjected each other to emotional abuse that affected their mental health? Some pieces of information on social media indicated that the wife had manipulated the husband so many times with suicide attempts that he was exhausted. Could that be the case? Emotional abuse is dangerous. It kills people’s aspirations and desires. Many people living today are walking dead, awaiting their actual deaths. Do not allow yourself to be a statistic. Protect your mind.